In establishing the marital relationship, sexual activity is an important element and a priority for the sake of preserving the integrity of a marriage. But on top of that, there is the most important thing and the key is communication.
As noted sexologist dr. Boyke Dian Nugraha, SpOG, MARS, the primary cause of cracking of households is not solely because of sexual problems. Indeed, each sex domestic problems could be overcome by better communication antarpasangan.
"Sex factor and are not satisfied with the physical appearance of approximately 30 percent as the cause of infidelity. The major factor is still communication. Communication is the most important, because 56 percent of the causes of divorce and infidelity," said Boyke when found in the book launch of "The Doctors", in Jakarta, Tuesday (06/07/2011) yesterday.
Boyke said, in general, the men began an affair when he reaches 40 years and over. The reasons can vary. Starting from feeling bored, dissatisfied, and just want to try it. Therefore, Boyke also appealed to husband and wife to always maintain the appearance and taking care of themselves.
"She was sometimes, if you feel have a husband, do not want ngerawat themselves. So that his body be stretched," he explained.
On the other hand, Boyke also hope that the men helped maintain the appearance. The reason, according to Boyke, today many women who cheat because their husbands are not capable of taking care of themselves.
"So, being pretty, being handsome, it is the responsibility of each individual. The man needs, women also need to be," he said.
Furthermore Boyke said, bored and discontent against the couple can actually be overcome by good communication. The couple can be intimate and find creative new variations in sexual intercourse or by performing a second honeymoon.
Establishment of a special relationship between man and woman may occur for two reasons behind it, namely sex and love. Sex is a double-edged sword is sharp and seductive. On the one hand as an instrument of extraordinary powerful healer, but it could turn into something excruciating and deadly when used for purposes arbitrary.
According to the author of the health-themed books, Lianny Hendrata, sex is something sacred because it not only brings two genitals, but also unites body, mind and soul. "Sex and love are two different things. However, these two can unite a sacred thing if an inner unity of husband and wife. If only one who hopes to give sex to get love, others will have sex, but not necessarily want to give his love sincere, "said Lianny, as quoted in the essay book entitled The Power of Sex.
Lianny revealing, intimate relationship that is based in a marriage (sacred) can provide many health benefits for a spouse. With sex, one can solve problems of stress because the muscles to become relaxed simulated body and the mind becomes calm.
In fact, continued Lianny activity, body movements when having sex can burn calories a lot so it could maintain body weight. According to him, many studies have shown that healthy sex is performed with a happy feeling will provide benefits for mental health.
Because sex is not just a physical activity that is done carelessly or with anyone willing. "However, do sex acts as a form of inner energy unification with the couple, and convert that energy as a source of strength that will renew every cell in our bodies," he explained in a new book that launched it.
Lianny also provides an illustration of how sex is also a force that can actually damage and destroy a person, if done carelessly. For example, in the case of couples who are dating.
According to him, someone who sincerely loves her partner would not have been asked to conduct an "relationship" that is not supposed to do.
"If we ask a girlfriend as a token of his love sex whether it will you give? Now, if we love our girlfriends, he's just not going to ruin our honor. So if he's confused between sex and love, meaning it's still in love lust," he said at the launch Lianny book some time ago.
In young children who are not married, sex can become a force to destroy life, if done carelessly. "Nowadays a lot of people get married at the time of love lust. So it was not true love," he said.
Lianny explained, how sex is no longer to be something sacred among teenagers, especially abroad. No wonder if the phenomenon of premarital sex cause a range of negative impacts, among which are murder, abortion, and suicide.
In a study of 4,000 young people conducted by experts at the University of LOA in the United States and published the Journal of Marriage & Family is known that on average they had had premarital sex. "The sacredness of the act of sex is not there. So it is considered normal," he added.
As in Indonesia, Lianny view that sex is considered a social gathering. Thus, a lie to say sexual problems in Indonesia is still considered a taboo. "Because the undercurrent was very unusual," he said.
Lianny hope the information conveyed through the book The Power of Sex can provide insight, especially to young people that sex is something sacred and should not be done haphazardly.
Age should not a barrier for a person to enjoy sexual akitivitas a comfortable and satisfying. In fact, according to experts sexology, increasing age, a person's sex life should be increasingly good and fun.
The study, published in the journal Psychological Science November 2008, for example, proving that someone marital satisfaction and happiness will increase as children begin to release because of its independence.
The sex therapist also agreed that the release of children from the "nest" husband and wife tend to make more free to enjoy quality time, including in terms of sex.
Sex therapist David Schnarch never reveal the difference between genital sexual prime and prime one. For most people, the prime genital appear in adolescence and the age of 20 when the body is in the best condition. However, at this time the mind has not been well developed sexually.
Schnarch says that a person's sexual prime is actually far from what is imagined by many as the days of sexual "heavy and hot", such as school age. With increasing age, a person would benefit from self-acceptance, knowing what she likes and do not be afraid to ask.
Famous sex counselor from the New York Times, Ian Kerner, argues, aging will not actually affect a person's sex, not just as an unhealthy habit that will lead to losses after a few years. Instead of unhealthy lifestyles such as too much stress, lack of sleep, poor diet, supine exercise, not taking care of themselves, and relationships with other people who will ruin your sex life.
Leaving the quality of health continues to deteriorate, according to Kerner, is a major cause of sexual problems. Therefore, do not be surprised if a lot of healthy people in their 50s and 60s are more sexually active than those who were younger.
One of the important things that distinguish the young and old in terms of sex, according to Kerner, is sex always slows down with age. For example, a young woman can experience vaginal in just a few seconds, but for older women to take few minutes to experience perlendiran.
"The same applies to men in terms of erection. It is important for couples to realize that it takes longer to get an erection or perlendiran so it does not mean that couples do not need to be aroused," said Kerner.
In fact, slow it bring any good for your sex life. When signs of sexual arousal does not appear as fast than usual, it gave an opportunity for longer to the couple to play and mingle with each other in bed. Behavior that we usually do during foreplay can be a major activity during sex and give couples the opportunity to re-explore each other sexually.
When men experience aging, testosterone levels will decline, while the hormone estrogen to rise. This means that many elderly men who could be more focused and appreciate the softness of sex.
For example, husbands who are curious or have never tried erotic massage or other techniques can now try and introduce it to their partner. In principle, enjoy what is beneficial with age. The young man did have a stronger erection, but tends to have more senior men better control. You and your partner getting familiar with each other's bodies, have perfect technique, and no longer feel inhibited as in the past!
Sources: Various Sources
