Experience with Gay

This man tried to remove memories of his past when in a relationship with a gay man and trying to live a normal life as a heterosexual man.


"I am a man aged 29 years. Two years ago, when boarding in Jakarta, I have lived in the gay world. For two years I lived with a man who was a year younger. During that time I had sexual relationships as gay couples. I feel strange why do that, whereas before I was not gay.


Before I never had a boyfriend, then broke up because of religious differences. When dating, I never had sex even though there is a desire. My girlfriend always refused when it came to want to have sex.


Now I am in a relationship again with a 25-year-old girl. I feel loved him, so does my girlfriend. The problem is, why if kissing him, I am often reminded of my first gay boyfriend?


Since my split with boyfriend gay, I tried hard not to see him again. She sometimes calls me, but I only respond mediocre. If he started the first offensive, I immediately decided to call for various reasons. I want to live like a normal guy.


Am I gay? Can I live a normal life like men generally? How can I not be affected again by what I do first? How to make images of the past with gay it does not come again?
M.K, Jateng


Persistent efforts
One of the causes of homosexual behavior is the influence of the environment, in addition to other factors. Conditions for boarding in Jakarta seems to cause you to associate with homosexual men's close. Proximity was later turned into a more personal relationship, including sexual relations.


Events like this can indeed happen. This is called lingungan factor as the cause of homosexual behavior. So it is possible you have a girlfriend who used women and homosexual relationships.


The problem is, now you want a normal life as a male heterosexual and homosexual shadow of the past often appears. This shall be your struggle because you have a relationship with a girl.


Your attitude to not want to meet again with gay friends, it was a very appropriate step. Moreover, you are trying to move away from old friend's phone. This attitude must keep your grasp and do.


Furthermore, if the shadow of the past appear, get rid of and do not be lulled soluble. Remember your boyfriend a girl who loves you. Only by persistent effort so you will be able to forget the past and live as a normal heterosexual male.


If you are unable to perform homosexual contact for two years after parting with him, you have to maintain for the next.


Consultation answered by Prof.Dr.dr.Wimpie Pangkahila, Sp.And